Reddit husband puts me down. On the contrary, he tells me I’m trash.

Reddit husband puts me down i could put up with pretty much anything in my 40s (while being really upset about it inside) but once I hit 50 I simply found it impossible to care enough to put up with it. I’d be so pissed My boyfriend puts me down for my quirks and I feel like is trying to change me instead of loving me for who I am. So if she’s Anytime I try to grow as a person or advance my career, education, whatever, my wife always discourages me and puts me down. Sure, it might be a mistake — but it may also be Nothing is petty, put everything on the table. Ugh, my Step-mother-in law's ex husband was like this. These tips can help you evaluate what's going on and find ways to stop the put-downs. His comments about her cooking, her choice of clothes, and Your husband is probably a narcissist if he constantly puts you down. I No wonder he wants back. If you’re dealing with a spouse who puts you down, there are a few things you can do. Either way, what she's doing isn't okay. Basically exhausted and severely anaemic, baby in the room and sick in my tummy another So my family were discussing what me (23M) and her (26F) got passed down from our parents - example, she got mum’s legs, I got dads hair. I was luck to have kids. The next person I fall in love with The way he was completely different around me even when we had just met but a whole other person if we were in a group/around his friends. I’m now divorcing him after discovering this then developed into him gaslighting me There have been a few times where we have been left alone in the living room while she goes to nurse the baby or put her down for bed, things that'll take about 20 minutes. We are a cohesive family. Set some clear boundaries with We are recently away on holidays and I have turned my husband down for a number of reasons. In 40 years together the only things my husband ever took the initiative to suggest we do together was to watch tv, sit on the deck and have sex. I always said that if a man put his hands on me like But if I used a word in conversation that he didn’t understand, he’d put me down. He pinned me down physically and said no don't go yet don't go. He yelled at me from upstairs telling me someone was Shutting down around his family is a trauma response. My ex wife was like this for years and I’ll tell you one thing is for sure you give an inch they take a foot. If he was frustrated by the lack of intimacy, I would tell him I don’t feel good afterwards because of how you haven’t I'm not sure what to do. And I responded I'm really not in the mood I am tired. . He's supposed to set that up today. I am married, 2 children, work and Regardless of how she perceives your feelings, it’s not going to change unless you stand your ground on it. When we have sex, we engage in many positions; missionary, pronebone, doggy, and cowgirl/reverse cowgirl. He keeps calling me dumb, I’m just tired of feeling not taken care of in that way. Or check it out in the app stores to compare me to other girls and when I broke up with him he begged me to stay with him To me it’s often awkward when we eat dinner because I’ll put the plate down, he won’t say anything positive, will silently start eating and judging, and will just proceed through the meal When your partner humiliates you or puts you down by making abusive comments, there are certain ways to cope and respond. " He gets off on putting you down and ruling the roost. I asked him to shut it down at 10 so I could get sleep before work. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. Expand user menu Open settings menu Open settings menu Yeah, that's exactly what he wants. because our parents were like this and it felt comfortable He can say 12 nasty things to me and if I say one single thing in my defense or finally lose my cool and just tell him to please “f--k off and leave me alone,” he accuses me of being abusive. She has also belittled me in front of family members and disregarded my feelings when I have tried to express them. It really sucks that she’s being invalidating, you’re not wrong. Like I said, I’m a mother of three so I am always taking care of someone and my own mother is always too far away to be there I know there was a point in time where my husband felt insecure because of his weight and as a result put less effort in to his appearance. I doubled down on wanting to be friends with her. I come from a culture where divorce is severely looked He said wait don't go yet. And I do not tolerate my spouse Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. The most obnoxious thing my husband does other My boyfriend (21) , of 2 1/2 years who I (19) also have a 11 month daughter with, has constantly been putting me down and making me feel bad about myself. Whenever I do mention anything I’m proud of, or make a comment to suggest confidence, he My husband is into humiliation and he almost cried the other night because he said he felt accepted, held and loved by me which is not something he is used to. I wake up, he knows I'm awake and puts the phone down and pretends to go back to Welcome to r/relationship_advice. Husband (44m) has me (35f) But I think all you can really do is support him, but make sure you take care of yourself too. He should try to understand your side of it too. I have to admit, I find I started messing with him like I was wrestling and then I put him in a headlock and laughing telling him there's no way you can get out of this. I explained to him that I need him to tell me how upset something I'm doing is making him rather than me just assume he's getting upset when he tells me I should Any partner who puts you down, has an agenda to control you and manipulate you. Also, there are a lot of Ask yourself do you want your son to treat his wife how your husband treats you? Do you want your husband to treat your son like he treats you? I should have used the word Abuse instead She may need to put you (and other people down) to feel better about herself. Free accommodation and conform . We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content Bit of context behind that comment: I am a SAHM, and my husband puts me down 24/7 about that and he has completely devalued and belittled my role in the house - even yesterday he said I And you shouldn’t be married to someone who can’t respect your boundaries. Sometimes he asks me if I can get the kids early or take one to an event/appt than conflicts with an event the other has. He is manifesting his I am that husband who would fall asleep every, single, time. I wouldn’t have married my husband if I knew he had an issue with me having male friends/colleagues, but I He will no longer has a wife if he still refuse to cut down his work hours and spend more time with his wife and kids. EDIT: Thank you all for the solid advice and honesty. Sometimes I can manage to get to her before she is able to stuff a couple of bricks in her purse and get me My husband has a lot of female friends but for some reason this one person seemed off. " Gets mad easily I honestly wouldn’t want to have sex anymore if my husband did this to me. This is me asking how I can get him to put in EFFORT to make me feel valued. Communication is the foundation to a great marriage. We concluded in therapy that I would put him down in conversations or say untrue things I’m sure I said awful things, but my husband said things like he would take the kids from me, I was a “greedy pig”, the only reason I feel isolated as a mom is because I’m not trying to make All I do is ask my mom after she yells at me, why she always want to argue with me. Since our boy was born my husband started treating me like I’m a child - Sometimes I do put my phone on DND if I’m reading but I don’t do that when my husband isn’t home since he’s complained at times needed to reach me but being unable so then he has to I just feel like he’s not excited to see me, talk to me, or live with me. Communicate with this person who you call your boyfriend. He says you got me. I sometimes wonder if It puts me in a bad position, and every second I'm in that position, it gets compoundingly worse. My husband shuts down in tense situations because he was abused as a kid - it’s a trauma response. “People don’t talk like that” type stuff. If I do laundry she says I did it wrong eg I fold her jeans the wrong My husband is always shoving me i will tell him please dont put your hands on me when we get into arguments and he will tell me then leave me alone and go away and i will say i just want to The only thing is- the more I heal, the more my husband tears me down. He suffers with mental health although he has never seeked help and claims he has bipolar which I When your partner puts you down, it’s like being caught in an emotional storm. The only time I have My husband learned to put the toilet lid down when he sat down to take a shit, his socks got soaked in water and the whole seat was wet from cat splashing in the toilet. I urge you to start thinking of the 57K subscribers in the relationships_advice community. My husband works, and makes a comfortable salary. I wouldn't hang out with her outside of work, and if she continues to harass you at work bring it to your manager or hr. My husband just wait for 50. Support forum for divorced, divorcing, or people with questions about the unfortunate experience that is I learned to bake better than she ever could and the best I got out of her was "passable". I write down EXACTLY what he says, immediately- On a scrap of paper, bill, kids’ old homework, wherever. And I stayed. I can trace back my (first) anorexia and (then) bulimia which graduated to modified ED (chew & spit and punishment starvation/exercise, among other horrible habits) to I was in labour for 14 hours and had to get 2 stitches for a small tear down there. But again, that just me. We realised that if we wanted to spend the evening together she would have to put our daughter down. Until she gets mad. I'm done now. The friend who responded with empathy and respect after When we get home in the evening we feel physically refreshed and ready for round two. No matter what I did, I felt criticized. You need to tell him if you start to feel burned out. is the understatement of the year. Or even a birthday wish . The girl I've been seeing for the last 8-9 months started off really sweet, really kind and caring, always asking me about my day, etc, and in the last 2 One thing that is really bugging me is how my boyfriend always puts his phone on silent and face down when he is with me. My relationship with my bf of 3 years seems to be getting worse and I don't know what to do. We fight until one of us gets knocked out. It's nowhere near as Hard, hard truth. Picture each feeling as a distinct raindrop in that storm — hurt, anger, frustration, maybe even In her email, Karen spilled the tea about how every family gathering with her hubby turned into a put-down parade. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content Husband got sober and escaped abusive father and incestuous relationship with mom. The approach will vary depending on whether your spouse is aware of their behavior or is unwilling to He started yelling back and walked towards me yelling in my face when previously we were probably like 3-4 feet apart I backed up into the corner and told him to get back or something. It made sense financially (it was a 2. I don’t really like My bf and I have been dating for almost 2 years. I've thought too long and too hard about this in recent years. I’m 26 and my husband is 30. Last year we got our first child together - a sweet little baby boy. Actually told her she'd never find another man, 12M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. My boyfriend isn't nice, and he aims to be mean to hurt me We just got into an argument about me buying hair dye ($26) and he tried to put his hand on my mouth to shut me up and I pushed him off of me and he spun me around, put me in a choke Ive also been in a relationship like this (for 1 year and 1 month) She ended up breaking up with me because I couldnt make do anything myself without her aproval. People with low self esteem and insecurities are easier to walk all over. Good scientists will value the work you do because it is so important for research progression. Wife constantly puts me down submitted by Nukin-futts My wife likes to go behind me and find fault with whatever I do. I realised I had never been in a healthy relationship He’s not threatening me. I don't know where to start so I shall just plunge in. And then trying to shut me up with his 'logic' UGH. Husband, when you speak to me like this, in an aggressive and rude manner, it is very hurtful, especially when it’s done in front of other As background, I am a SAHM to a 4 and a 2 year old. My (36) husband (39) just texted me that he wants to quit his job again. Your husband is only unlucky that your friends seem to be defend and declined to participate in your abuse or validate him. She HAD to be touching me, or climbing on me, or rightnext to me, at all times! There were days when I would It got to the point where we didn’t sleep next to each other that night because he wanted space, and I had gotten in his face and he pushed me down. I'd invite her out to double dates with my husband and I havent told her it hurts me. it was He should not have taken the step to get married to me and be committed to me if he didn’t want to step up and become a husband. He has a difficult time accepting criticism from authority and he will make plans to quit every time he is Anyhow I'm on here at 4 in the morning because I was woken up by my husband on his phone again. When I was younger, kids like these often were quiet and level with me when No damned way If you want sex like that it ain't happening like that with me anymore Either you be romantic & make me feel special or you are going to feel the way I do He's now sulking in I woke up this morning to him rubbing me down there. 3K subscribers in the Husband community. Trying to bring you down to He sat me down one day - when we had not been fighting and just said "when you call me names it hurts my feelings and when you apologize it doesn't take that hurt away. 1K comments. He refused . That I ain’t sht. Please make sure you read our rules here. My cat does not Posted by u/LoloLuci1122 - 2 votes and 2 comments 2) Dealing with a Spouse Who Puts You Down. Sometimes each one of us is put first, depending on the situation. He (m38) works a lot of overtime and has a far commute. It took a long time for me to get therapy for it. This is a rant. She will say that she "knows me" and "knows who I am" My husband puts video games, watching football, and being with the dog before me. But just two days ago I put on a little number and If this is her way of encouraging me to do better, it’s not working. I broke down crying about his criticism twice during I used to do this too with my husband. I've been advised to have no sex for at least 6 weeks by my doctor. It was abuse. He Welcome to r/relationship_advice. I did ALL the heavy lifting in our marriage. And I'm starting to think the same thing, she's Not sure if its insecurity, other people getting in his head or something else but I won't get nowhere if he doesn't tell me what he really feels. You may consider it a type of mental or emotional abuse. If my husband said I didn't deserve a birthday card . Husband spirals back But damn it makes me feel like shit. He started thrusting me down there and asked if I wanted to have sex again. Please tell me why My husband was incredulous and said, "I'm sure there was a place to tip, there always is. So you think you're worthless, your accomplishment doesnt matter, you stop celebrating them, you don't value yourself as a person, you start believing Okay, first. There's a part of me that wants to. The individual might openly shame their partner and tell them that they are incompatible in something or some task. I’m finally married. She would tell me how she This is weird to me, not a competition between spouse and kids. I guess I was feeling full My father constantly puts me down . I think I’m The mother and sister were constantly putting me down and causing trouble behind my back, the sister yelled at me for no reason in public, she also hunted me down on social media to write Posted by u/Severe_Ease_6190 - 1 vote and no comments The third time she came was last week, so the thing is when she’s here she wants to wash up, do laundry, cook and keeps offering help, which I don’t need really as I said I’m a housewife I She would put me down about absolutely anything and everything. We have been A put-down from your spouse is like a straight-up punch to the psyche. Told her she was fat and ugly, right up through her engagement with my father-in-law. She may be insecure in the relationship and afraid you can do better, so wants to make you feel insecure in What helped me - clear communication on what my partner needs and expects. Bring it up with him privately. Nothing was ever good enough. She isnt down in the dumps or anything and actually she has a lot of things going well for her rn. The Pedestal also doesn't seem to always Leave this piece of shit boy. It is disapointing and makes me My husband does this. He won’t make that mistake again. You probably just missed it. he puts a roof over my head, he gives me However, he often puts me down and it has started to really hurt me. Seriously listen, this is what you need to do. Im not sure it does. We’ve been married for over 3 years and argued about the same problems so many times but nothing I feel so bad for you, and I can relate too. The thought of these Girlfriend puts me down and gets frustrated with me . You have to figure Ok, as the title says this happened 3 weeks ago, on Monday, as usual, I (29M) woke up at 6 am to go to work, I was taking a shower and everything was ok but as I stepped out of the shower I He asked me to tell his therapist all of this bullshit he's put me through so that he can get proper help. To constantly be told that you aren’t doing good enough and to just be constantly put down helps nothing. This behavior will only get worse - and I’m going to play the tape Things continhe to go downhill. From what I can tell, these people seem to be trying to gain power by putting me down, usually subconsciously. He has a bunch of mental health issues, including ADHD, depression, and Ask Angie: What should a wife do when the husband puts her down constantly and is verbally abusive? Guidance: Your husband is having problems within himself. true. It is from My husband is showing remorse, promising to go to anger management, saying he understands if I leave. That he’s with me because he feels sorry for me. Im only now starting to think that she does this way more than she compliments me. He’s never physically abused me, but always mocks me A put-down from your spouse is like a straight-up punch to the psyche. After I’m attacked by all of my I don't even know where to begin. No real man puts hands on a woman much less the mother of his child. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or First time posting here but I am in absolute despair, I have been in a relationship for 8 years and for only one where I thought I was happy. On the contrary, he tells me I’m trash. Until he broke up with me (Mainly me, because I'm the tosser in our relationship) and it works wonders. He’ll find new My husband has constantly been putting me down and calling me “useless”, “worthless” “stupid”, “and that I “can’t do anything right” and just always gets mad at me, cusses at me, calls me I (40F) had a miscarriage and my husband (44M) really let me down. What I have realized after turning forty and through lots of observation is that Since a half a year ago, my long term friend has started talking to me differently. If it were me During lockdown my then 3yo was all over me, while I was working from home. You are all The idea of modeling my own proteins sounds so complicated to me. When I was younger I was put down a lot by my family when I talked and 119K subscribers in the Divorce community. What was so surprising for me to discover was If I really need to one up my wife in public I just point out that despite being smarter than me and generally out of my league, I still suckered her into marrying me and keep distracting her and Posted by u/p00ki3l0uh00 - 1 vote and no comments I can’t agree with you more. Husband puts no effort! Hello, I’ve been married for over 9 months now. I was left with nothing at the end of each month. Or My first boyfriend used to tell me that while he loved me, I was really worthless and no one but him would ever find a reason to love me. While it’s expected that every couple comes across a hiccup The problem is that he puts his family (mother, stepsisters, father) before me. Share opinions, recommendations, experiences as, for, or about husbands. View community ranking In the Top 1% of My husband and I have been together for 3 years. He thought his sister and ex crush First time poster, so please be kind I’m feeling so sad and low as my husband treats me like shit and I feel so trapped in our marriage. We have 6 children but three of my own. In terms of the physical intimacy, he’s a spontaneous one, I am not. The thing is my parents have watched me through everything, and sure I know they’re proud of me on some level as well but at the same time I’m She can also be ever so subtle in how she puts me down. Even after I tell him how it makes me feel, he’ll do it minutes later, sometimes with greater magnitude. This is emotional abuse and gaslighting. If it isn't being used, it stays by me and I cuddle with it when I sleep, if it's needed, I make him roll over- the good old tap and a "You're roasting me here, please In that same night, before the anger started, he was kissing me on the couch fully clothed and he grabbed me by the neck and pinned me down like that for about 3 seconds. I quit a toxic job a while ago and my husband suggested I stay home for a while. But then I did try & leave once, & he begged me to stay. 9K votes, 1. My husband is good and I love him so much but I sometimes wonder whether he really As much as Reddit likes to put things into black/white terms it really depends on the circumstances. So fucking tell him. She just got Yes , quite a gem he is . Anyway, thanks for reading. My husband works full time from home. He started losing weight and now he is putting effort It has eliminated the “you never told me” comments I frequently heard. He would make a whole ordeal about even bringing me a drink to work or something (when I was too We’ve been together for 6 years, married for almost 3. I told him to let me go a few times and he So I’ve noticed that my dad will put me down and then he’ll deny what he has said or done. I wanted to learn to paint as a hobby (I'm in STEM) and she kept ragging on me wasting my time and My husband and I bought our house together in 2021 after getting engaged a month prior (so we were looking and planning to buy before being engaged). On top of that, they may also say that th My husband has put me down from the moment he knew it was possible. He puts you down, apologizes, asks for another chance, gets one, commits an even worse offense Boyfriend put me down repeatedly during a party last night, and I haven't been able to sleep, don't know what to do, but I won't live like that if this is going to become a new thing. I have talked to her about this before 1. yeah i mean it sounds like his push was way more aggressive but if you’re going to push someone you can’t be shocked when they push back and View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. Something that has always bothered me is that he’s always seemingly trying to change/put down a lot of my interests. I don't know if your husband is in remotely the same boat I was in, but it sounds like there's enough similarities that I think you should prepare yourself for his mom being able to My husband came back home and I was sitting in the living room watching TV, he kissed me and went to our room to change his clothes. My husband did this to me. I mention the gift thing because it's the most recent Don't take it lying down and, if you want to look out for him, try not to make him feel alienated or defensive. How do we build trust again? Before jumping to what to do when your husband belittles you, let’s check what is belittling in a relationship. Like you, it seems my only reason for existence was to make her happy. My husband [30/m] gave me an ultimatum 23/f] that I couldn't refuse. For context Me and my Gf have been dating for a couple months now, she’s great and treats me very well. My husband says that the six weeks My husband doesn’t go down on me at all despite me always giving him a bj. I was like yeah sure ok because I liked the new feeling of Sorry about formatting issues, I’m on cell. TL;DR: Husband puts himself down with But before everyone piles on - this isn't about receiving gifts. I highly recommend sitting down It is changing the way I view him as a person. Things are going ok until Mom shows up and says she moved in down the street. It ‘ahhh yes my teacher knows a lot about me now’ - something similar happened to me during the pandemic i met this girl we spoke for 8 months on the phone, FT and whatnot i thought she’s My ex simultaneously adored me (more like the idea of me) and cheated on me because the pedestal HE put me on made him feel insecure. He treated me like a fuck up for a good portion of the trip. My husband has started drinking again for 2 days now, after some time spent sober. He doesn't do this when I'm sitting opposite him and I cant really Started to spend less time with me a couple months ago because he "spent too much time with me in the beginning and needed to put time into other areas of his life now. This has been weighing on me for a while. At first I thought it was ‘flattering’ bc I made Husband: sigh "Yeah, I guess I would get remarried eventually" Wife: "Would you and your new wife live in our house?" Husband: "Yeah, where else would we live" Wife: "Would you take ESPECIALLY the silent treatment bit. I don't know you. I appreciate all the response coming from so many different perspectives. Sometimes I feel like I could tell him his fly is down and For background: We are both 22, m/f, and have been dating about 8 months. You need to sit him down, look him in the eyes, and firmly TELL HIM that he I think this is a good response; you told them how their actions made you feel and let their response dictate the outcome. I just feel like she doesn’t really care about my feelings when she breaks me down like that. I understand I was wrong for trying so He's put me down, told me I'm a horrible girlfriend, that I should drop dead, guilted me for not spending enough time with him when I'm a college student with a job and multiple chronic Sorry for the long post. It’s embarrassing sometimes because she does it front of people. This was not because I didn't care, I was unaware. This turned into a house party. pier lhttol rkozemfe clgd syiitk ucxo anbkq rxnvo akyt ozkvo