My boyfriend is depressed and treating me badly. He told me he is depressed.

My boyfriend is depressed and treating me badly I had no motivation, abused alcohol, and couldn't be . I’m always the last choice. If I ask him for his time he is willing to drop things for me (of course I'm also expected to be reasonable). Whenever I cried because I was ill, or whenever I cried because a best friend died, she loved her ''someone has it worse'' or ''grow up'' comments to dismiss my feelings. But not too long after the beginning of our relationship, about four months in, he began getting depressed. For me, one of the most challenging aspects to feeling like this is that I don’t feel as connected as I normally do—with my friends, the world in general, and with my beautiful, kind, sweet, smart, I [18M] hate my sister [21F]. Asriel July 7th, 2023 . I am bawling while I finish this post and am not even sure what to say but hoping someone will have something to say to help me. You really have to know how to tell your boyfriend As you keep yourself occupied with what to do when my boyfriend becomes distant and cold, you might feel really down. I grind my teeth, clinch my jaw and yawn all the time. I don’t think I ever fully healed from my past trauma. My wonderful boyfriend has seasonal affective disorder and is incredibly depressed this winter. This is a significant hurdle for you two as a couple so both parties have to work at it. Here are 5 reasons why a depressed person may end up cheating on their partner. I'm just saying I've been with my current boyfriend for 2 years and he still professes his love for me at night before he goes to sleep, or when I do something that amuses him. He has become increasingly depressed and it is taking a toll on our relationship. Just because I refused to leave my own house. Two days ago I cheated on my boyfriend, we've been together for 2 years. He was a secret alcoholic and a narcissist. You may find yourself needing your partner’s comfort and reassurance, but they But fortunately, my partner stepped up and told me that he wanted to be a good boyfriend to me so he didn't want to continue to cause me stress like that. I'm the depressed person in my relationship, It’s an uncomfortable question; a vulnerable moment of reflection: “Why am I still in love with my ex even though he treated me so badly*?” Have you found yourself in a relationship in which you know you are – or were Unfortunately Managing mental illness, including depression, is different for every individual. He's a super lovely, loyal, honest man with a pure soul. My partner suffered horribly with her depression to the point I couldn’t take it anymore last fall. When I first met with him--about a year ago now--he asked if I had been feeling depressed at all. A couple days before his flight, I went to see him. " I’m lucky to have a few close friends and a boyfriend who treats me well but other than that, people kind of treat me like shit. So, he let me be there for him. I do love him and I would want to spend the rest of my life with him if he was as I met him. After one year of me recovering due to medicine my husband told me he wanted to divorce. I told my parents I want no relationship with her, they won't respect that. 4. The first thing you have to realize if you truly want to help your depressed loved one is that you are not enough. 44. My boyfriend of one year dumped me last Sunday. I felt like I was screaming on the inside and jumping out of my body. When my boyfriend treats me bad and makes me sad, we need to talk more. Here are 11 unacceptable behaviors that Of course not, I'm well aware that his issues go beyond just his unemployment and it is highly likely he is severely depressed. and it’s so scary I (18f) have been dating my boyfriend (19m) for the past year and half. However, he is insanely sensitive and would take everything I say the wrong way. I’d also like to say you dont need to divorce to do this, just take some time away and give space between you guys. He compliments me at any chance he gets, give me gifts that I don't even have to ask for, talk to me, doesn't gaslight or abuse me in anyway, and over all is such a good person. You’ll trust again So my gf told me the other day when she got off work that she’d needs a mental break because she’s not feeling normal and she’s been depressed lately I’ve kinda noticed her having mood swings and she does get in these moods where she doesn’t wanna talk to anyone of leave her room any advice on how I should handle this I’m obviously hurt but she needs to get better Tl;dr: My boyfriend does things that upset me (putting me down, mood swings), and we don’t seem to be able to communicate about these things as he shoots me down. He just accomplished a major goal that took him a long time to achieve and atm can’t reap the benefits. My husband treats me bad and seems totally disgusted me. My boyfriend is depressed and miserable because of work My (38M) SAHW (40F) has been treating our Son (12M) poorly and favoring our Daughter (9F) ever since I complimented his cooking. Unless you are a horrible person you don't deserve that. Even though deep down you know your partner's illness is not your fault, it's difficult not to wonder if it's you or them when someone Setting boundaries is easier said than done, so here’s what you should do if your depressed partner blames you for everything. He’s making you feel like your not enough so your constantly trying to prove your worth through all of your actions ( you’ve been so accommodating , cook, clean, initiate appts , try and help him make friends , make suggestions to help him out ) . I had a terrible boyfriend when I was 20 years old. He may blame other events in his life (like a stressful job or trouble in your relationship), or he may To a certain point, it becomes much less “my boyfriends depressed and it’s too much to handle” and much more “my boyfriend is terrible to me and it’s too much to handle”. Me (w, 30) and my boyfriend (m, 31) have been dating for about 6 months and everything seemed to go quite well (it's my first relationship, so I am still kind of adjusting and learning to communicate my feelings with him, but he's been great about it and very patient). Y. We're only 20. I have made that mistake many times. Every time he’s there or talking to them I’m convinced they’re talking bad about me. In both situations, I was kind of unsteady in where I was in life, and I like to give Hi everyone. From the following article “ My depressed boyfriend broke up with me”, you will gather information about the criticality and consequences of having a. My issue is that he will not let me help him. My depressed ex bfriend cut me loose a week ago today and I was supposed The worst my boyfriend has ever had to put up with from me has been depression, one mixed episode, and a PTSD episode in our 4 years together, but I have never abused him in any way as a result of my mental illness. Keeping it all to yourself can be poisonous. I don’t think I do awfully as a girlfriend. Do I Treat My Boyfriend Badly Quiz? Take Quiz. You pretty much couldn't see any skin in this area because it was covered in these stupid red lumps. This may be a hard pill to swallow but it is possible that one of the reasons why your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse is depressed is because your relationship simply is not working out. I felt that that what was best for me, and I didn't really date anyone seriously for about 3 years, which leads me to my current boyfriend. My boyfriend (30m) and I (28f) have been together on and off for about 2 years. i’m working on this because i think its a really important next step for him, but for now its kind of just me and him against the world. My chores don't pile up like those with chronic depression. Boyfriend V2. is what I naturally do, but after a few days of being like this my feelings for her start to dissolve due to the way she is acts. And I have enough skills that my daily chores still get done. If you have had a depressed partner, how have you two been able to sustain and strengthen your relationship? My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. I’m an extremely anxious person so my mind always tries to make everything about me. My parents do nothing and when I told her I don't want her as my sister, they all reacted badly. When I’m being treated badly by a boyfriend, it pisses me off. My therapist told me just because and especially because they are family there is no reason to allow mistreatment and it’s ok to eliminate people that do. A lot went wrong on your ex’s end that made him look at the relationship from a different perspective. Sometimes it makes me so angry that he just wants me to go away, even though I try my best to understand and to give him time. Eventually after 6 years of living like this I got depressed to the point of trying to off myself. Just remember if you're so awful (you're not even a little) that he is an grown man who can leave at any time. When I'm nice to her she gets comfortable, really lazy, and puts no effort in being a decent girlfriend; but she still want's to stay with me. I want to My boyfriend of almost 5 years has recently began to tell me that I haven’t been treating him well and I don’t do enough for him in our relationship. Kris Tarnowski, a dance coach at the local high school in her city, had suspected that her boyfriend was depressed and said, “My boyfriend is My husband has never once insulted me, or implied his life was worse with me in it. most of At least in terms of clingy and controlling I can see how depression could manifest that way. Maybe what you think is tying yourself to him is love but it’s actually trauma . Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend’s Depression Is Making Me Question Our Future Together I want to be there for him, but his depressive episodes are difficult for me to handle. last night i was getting irritated with every little thing he did and assumed that he didn’t care about Advertisement Coins This is when he grabbed me by the back of my hair and tried to drag me out the door. Even tho I treated them and their family really good. But today, it just all feels so wrong. they are openly VERY homophobic, transphobic, racist, and even a bit sexist. So recently I’ve been hanging out with my sisters and friends more and occasionally their boyfriends will be there and I am starting to notice how well their boyfriends treat them and when they talk about the stuff their boyfriends do for/ with them I’ll comment how lucky they are and how jealous I am and they’ll look at me almost with a My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 1/2 months and have been close friends since December 2008. I’ve been continuing my life and doing fine. Phew!—her expression communicated. I didn't tell my girlfriend and I grew very distant from her because of my shame. You’re being taken for granted. my parents do the same stuff. We no longer have any intimacy or romance in our relationship, and haven't for almost a year. Long story short, it ended up with him beating me senseless with a frying pan and giving me a swollen black eye, a bloody nose, and a broken finger while trying to defend myself. Here are seven steps you can take to support a depressed loved one. I’m in my mid-thirties and had an exciting professional career before all of this, and I often cry myself to sleep because of the stress. to UK) boyfriend calls me every other day or so, to check I'm ok. Having a boyfriend who is depressed and pushing you away can be hard on your self-esteem. Im no stranger to people treating me like the "woman" of the relationship but Ive started to notice my boyfriend does too. i know he loves me and i truly know in my heart he meant it when he said j was the love of his life. Sorry in advance, English is not my first language. . I should have never been so hard on my current boyfriend. I'm doing little extra things like making him food, doing his chores for him, buying him wine, and generally giving him some space, etc as well as bigger things like getting him out of the house to do random things, but nothing seems to break his mood. I feel like I'm enabling him and not making things better. Since he moved into his apartment with Tbf, I'm bipolar with rapid cycling so a hypomanic episode is right around the corner and depression is a waiting game for me. even my siblings saw it Sometimes when I try to assert some boundaries or show that I’m getting annoyed, she’ll blame my dad and tell me that going to see my dad puts me in a bad mood and how I should see him less. they both work really hard but when i got diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and adhd they started treating me like shit. I did it because I love him, but looking back, I was already feeling used. His depression makes him feel like he doesn't deserve me or my love and care for him. What should I do because I am coming apart. Rightfully so though. She constantly says negative and hurtful things to me, attacks my weakest insecurities. Have patience. About Us; Categories Our licensed therapists specialize in treating depression and can provide you with the personalized support and guidance you need to overcome your challenges. My mom is a good mom except for the fact that her way of dealing with emotions is crap. I’m always lower on everyone’s priority list than they are on mine. My husband had a friend/ex-gf that he referred to as his stalker. To me Boyfriend V1. 1. I’m always getting cancelled on. My boyfriend (lets call him Miles), treats me like a queen. For I've turned around a few years into a friendship (once in my 20s and twice in my 30s) only to find that someone I thought simply liked me and shared mutual interests was actually keeping me around to make them feel better about themselves by comparison or were just using me in some other way. We have been together since I asked him to my senior prom in high school, and I am now a senior in college. But Julie Fast warns that this may be a If your partner suffers with depression you may feel helpless. I’ve been in a similar position before so the pressure doesn’t really bother me. Your I think depression can make you question your love for someone, but I don't think it can make you fall out of love with that person. My boyfriend and I are currently long distance, he is staying with his family right now. My friend made a comment that made me feel really depressed and I tried talking to Well yesterday I mustered up the energy to leave the house to go to an outdoor movie with my boyfriend. Our relationship has gone south since then and he admitted to me he has chronic depression. Here’s how to set healthy boundaries with your partner to protect yourself, help your partner and Communication is key. If the depression lifts and they're just ok with the relationship it's really not worthwhile for them and probably being in a relationship is more harm and good. I know it’s harsh, but this is one of the most common reasons men treat their partners badly. " I didn't have the strength to make it clear I wasn't coming because he was treating me like a sex toy, not because of my family drama. A month ago my boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me out of nowhere because he was depressed and didn’t feel he could be a good boyfriend to me while dealing with his emotional state. But after him telling me that I When someone is depressed however it can leave us feeling helpless as we simply don’t know how to help. he has a lot of trauma and has let himself down in it and the stress of life. I ignore a bunch of her calls and texts, and I’m seeing my dad whenever I feel like it. My family feels so empty. If they treat you badly They will treat the people you love badly too. I moved to this new city in January and got very depressed and began drinking heavily. what to do? How to get over someone you have to see everyday? My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. my boyfriend did this too. I had to do that with my dad. The past few weeks I have felt very warn down by certain behaviors of his that put me down. He hates his job, and just doesn't really have much that he enjoys. My husband says almost every woman has something beautiful about them. We both know how to deal with each other and usually maintain our sanity in the face of the other's craziness. Being with a depressed boyfriend or girlfriend can be challenging, but it doesn't always spell doom for your relationship. But I think the moment someone starts rubbing off on someone in a bad way it’s a good indicator to assess the relationship. He treats me badly but I am Got on Lexapro about 4-5 months ago, have since lost a lot of sex drive. Except I’m the partner with depression and feel helpless, and hopeless, because right now I’m going through a depression spike and lost every emotion I had previously, including feeling love. But I’m hesitant, I wish I had not been so in to my boundaries and had paid more attention to the fact that she was human too. He has a family that is quite dysfunctional, lots of fighting and relatives that don't speak to each other. My heart was racing, but I worked through all of my anxiety to tell him how I'd been feeling. Many people with depression maintain fulfilling relationships with their partners, and dating a Aquí nos gustaría mostrarte una descripción, pero el sitio web que estás mirando no lo permite. My boyfriend has a troubled past due to PTSD (he was in the military). Let them know what behaviors are hurtful and what you need from them to feel Having a boyfriend who is depressed and pushing you away can be hard on your self-esteem. He visits at least a few times a week too. We’ve had multiple talks about this but he says he is depressed and won’t go to therapy. I feel like I'm partially responsible for why he got worse because I coddled him so much. but I don't wanna lose him. My boyfriend is the same the only difference is we just text instead of call on the phone. " But he added "I feel terrible when you do it, like I've failed. My boyfriend (18M) and I (18F) used to be in an extremely toxic relationship (we've been dating for 17 months). It isn't an excuse to treat people badly at all, especially those who care about you and who you care about but it happens. I have experienced being tired all the time and have now been more sad in my life for long periods of time and this is my first time in this r/ and it’s majorly bc I’m so tired of my Lexapro but like your boyfriend I have also not experienced any anxiety attacks My depressed boyfriend ignores me/refuses to see me, how can I cope with that? Hi, it's my first time posting here, I need some support because my boyfriend's depression makes me feel very lonely. Being head over heels for him, I supported him and tried to make things better the best I could. I was the depressed boyfriend. i take the full blame on myself for this i was too caught up in my own mental health to really see that. He told me he is depressed. He has been struggling with depression and it's effecting everything. I am trying to make this as little about me as I can and help him. I have mentioned to him the possibility that he might be depressed and recommended therapy, but the moment the discussion comes up he becomes defensive and shuts me down. I then made the choice to download tinder and I cheated on my girlfriend. My boyfriend [34/m] gets incredibly angry over People don’t deserve to be treated that way and the people who love us wouldn’t dream of treating us that way. We were isolated, stopped socializing, I lost my job and my faith in my self, I became the old insecure me. Loved ones feel the pressure Here are 10 ideas drawn from the experience of people who have had to live with depressed partners as well as from my own experience as a depressed partner. Just don't push him to interact with you he will come back and just text him little things like "are you okay" "do you want to talk about it"(if he says yes, let him choose the way of communicating. I was never asked on a date. Me and my partner are opposites but we compliment each very well and I have learned so much from him. I'd say yes, it's the depression talking, but obviously I can't say for certain because I don't know her. I am currently sitting with a kitten for a friend and I am totally exhausted by simple tasks and especially playing with her, as she is very active. I’m sorry you have to go through this. How you also react matters. He’s left me on read for 6 hours. Hi guys, I really need another perspective on the current situation. " I know that he doesn’t know any better, but it obviously makes me extremely unhappy as well, and also has a big impact on my life. They know they’re in the wrong but don’t have the balls to admit it. Are you or someone you know feeling disappointed, hurt, and sad about a partner's hurtful behaviors? If so, take a good look here at what is keeping you feeling Negative interactions and poor treatment in an emotionally abusive relationship are most definitely damaging to your well-being. He told me this person was "crazy" and "scary" and from what I could tell it seemed that she was obsessed with him but he wanted nothing to do with her. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s when I’m being treated badly by a boyfriend. This includes name calling (dumb, stupid, fucking idiot, bitch, etc), shutting me out and being cold when he is moody, and overall being dismissive. Now he’s being even more of an asshole and refuses to communicate but is continuing to call my family and friends when he’s drunk. mum (40F) is pregnant again and my boyfriend (18M) has offered that I could live with him. Posted by u/five-years-throwaway - 390 votes and 106 comments Personally, after my experience with antidepressants and doing some research on them, I would never suggest them to anyone. It makes me sad but not as bad as how I felt with him and the treatment I received. "He just gets super tense, shuts down, and treats me like crapola!" she added with frustration, giving way to sadness. He reached me 4 years ago trying to apologize, I HATED HIM even more, I had flashback of all the things that happened and said. But at least I talk about what is going on," Brenda said. It really is taking its toll on the both of This isn't about you or your drinking; you're not a hypocrite to say "when you drink, you treat me badly, so when you drink, I will not be around you". My past relationships shouldn’t reflect on him. Signs of emotional abusecan also be harder to recognize for what they are or for why they are happening. Like 30 min and I am out. You might not notice right away that this is the case. If you're Googling, "my boyfriend is depressed," chances are, your partner is struggling with their mental health and you're looking for supportive yet subtle ways to show He said he felt like he wasn’t being fair to me and that he didn’t feel he had the capacity to be a good partner. I opened up as much as I could, but sometimes you dont know what to open up about. She couldn't, in good conscience, just roll with "hey, I know you are in a depression hole but the way you are treating me really sucks and My therapist always called me out for saying I tricked my partner into marriage. It would depend on if something happened before his attitude changed or he switched up on you suddenly. He has a set schedule and mine is a little less predictable as I am in the middle of launching a new company (not my company, but I’m v If your partner is treating you this way, she recommends speaking with a therapist or counselor to help you cope with the abuse and safely exit the relationship. tdlr; My (F23) best friend (M24) treats me better than my (M24) boyfriend I would get very upset whenever a girl would text him and he wouldn’t tell me. Growing up, my dad has always yelled at me and has had like anger issues and so me and my sister feel like we had endured some emotional trauma from it. I told him to leave the job to take a break and find what he is passionate about. Why is my ex treating her new boyfriend better than she ever treated me ? My ex contacted me after 6 months yesterday as to explain herself of what happened, we had a 2 year relationship and she broke it of we had a fight and she moved on in a month's time. This alarmed me and I assured him he didn’t need to feel that way, and that I would be happy to give him the space he needs or do anything to help him get through this. When I met my most recent ex, I was guarded and scared that he was not the person he presented himself to be. If you have a mental illness, you cannot justify persistent cruelty as part of your disorder, and if you’re in a relationship with someone who’s treating you horribly, you don’t have to put Posted by u/throwy445533 - 1 vote and 7 comments Last year my acne flared up really badly around my jaw. She called him a lot. My bf talks to his family atleast 3 times a day on the phone and usually texts them all day long. But here we are. Sometimes I’m not sure if he just doesn’t My ex leaving me was the best choice for him and ME so I could get help. I’ve talked to him about this in the past. Towards the end he lost all his respect for me and started treating me like garbage, he acted as if he hated me and I have no idea why. Trust me, he isn't going to change, it only gets worse. My boyfriend's ex caused him to become severely depressed and it did put some dents in our relationship here and there. ) He dismissed it as granting me "more time to heal. My boyfriend is intelligent, handsome, and sweet. Right, she sees it as a problem but not THE problem. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and he opened up about his depression a few weeks into our relationship. I left him and have not allowed anyone to treat me like that since. Anger I went through a couple months of being mad at the world and I Boyfriend V1. I don't know whether to keep trying or to leave. I have friends with kids and they are good healthy kids but I get very tired around them. If your ex treated you badly and now wants you back, it’s because a lot has happened since the breakup. "A key warning sign that your boyfriend is dealing with It can be helpful to know some of the potential clues that a person might be drama-prone. I went through something very difficult not so long ago and someone close to me kept getting angry at me Why does my boyfriend keep treating me badly? Why does my boyfriend keep treating me badly? There are a lot of reasons why a man would start treating you badly. Take care of yourself as well as you can. I know my partner is not my dad. Only people who suffer internally treat others badly consistently. My mom can be strict and it has always driven me crazy how she treats my younger sister like she’s 10 when really she’s 18. It has been 7 years since he made a total change and worked hard If you find yourself thinking, "My husband hates me," you may be stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship without knowing it. I didn't recover from depression only to be dragged down by my partner. You are not enough. I’m always the friend who has to reach out first to plan anything or just text. she always gets mad at me when i address a problem in our relationship, she gets mad when i tell her what bothers me and she says she gets upset. His divorce makes him worried that I'm going to use and manipulate him. When your boyfriend is depressed, he may not recognize his depression symptoms as signs of a mental health condition. He's an amazing, intelligent, kind, and thoughtful man who has done more for me than my own family has. You know what makes my day? When I’m being treated kindly by a boyfriend. You’ll get to grow and learn from this while he’ll repeat the same mistakes and keep up the same pattern. Treating depression is way above the paygrade of a partner, When I got together with my boyfriend, my depression did lift for a few months but then it came back, same as ever. I struggle too with depression and anxiety. My first examples of “love” weren’t love at all. I just put it down to being together for so long and getting comfortable with each other. Set your boundaries and be firm with it. She wasn’t From my perspective sometimes it is really scary and sad to hear what he has to tell me, but at the same time I appreciate that he can share and trust me to share. I know I don’t deserve this. By Lori Gottlieb I wonder hiw long i am to have to deal with him as my caring side wont allow me to throw him out as i kniw there would be a lot of trouble and i know i couldnt live with myself that i havent looked after him . Emotional abuse is insidious and can be hard to spot, especially when the abuser is trying to pass off their actions as romantic. Maybe your boyfriend doesn't have it as bad as me or OP's boyfriend. But he just keeps sinking deeper and deeper into depression. I used to do everything you listed out, and I couldn’t take it anymore. He is not the most outgoing, so he tries really hard to make conversation to cheer My boyfriend was there for me when my best friend died. My boyfriend (25M) is keep telling me (25F) how beautiful I look without my glasses. But right now I'm ready to break. Here's why he treats you like crap and what to do when a man Now don’t get me wrong, I get she’s depressed and I feel for her, but I used to never have outbursts in my relationship period, and by now, 8 years in, the only way to make her stop taking all It gradually eroded my self-esteem and self-worth to the point where I just didn't say much around him. Ill be the first to admit that I'am not the manliest man, In fact I'm more stereotypically feminine while my boyfriend is stereotypically masculine and definitely looks it. We've had our ups and downs - bad moments were mainly caused by me and my personal problems and still he's always taken care of me. she barely speaks to me when we text we just send pictures back and fourth, she always wants alone time which includes her jot talking to me. Lately his life hasn't been going to plan. TLDR: Boyfriend is depressed & pushing me away, didn't specify if he wants a breakup or break, not sure what to do or what to say. In my experience relationships are supposed to help you become better. He never asks me to spend time with him but looms around because he doesn't know what to do with himself. 3. My (22F) boyfriend (35M) and I work long hrs every week. He wont let me go out and has tantrums if i Why would my ex treat me like shit and act like they hate me after the relationship. My anxiety due to this absolutely has an impact on my relationship, in some subtle and some clear ways, and it’s really hard. I want so badly just to say "STOP TREATING ME LIKE YOUR FRIEND" but I know that would hurt her. My girlfriend supported my decision and said she would move there with me when she graduated. It helps give me perspective on how he’s feeling and try to use that to see where he’s coming from. 30 mins before the dinner, he texts me and tells me that he is sorry, and if I haven't found anyone to go to dinner with yet, he can go to dinner but he won't be very good company. He was constantly mentally and verbally abusive in so many different ways. I gave him all the love I could and he treated me like garbage, it was about to be an abusive relationship but I left before things got worse. Help your depressed boyfriend by showing him that he is worthy. That would make me massively depressed. And when a partner is depressed, it can have significant impact on a relationship. I feel completely unwanted and unloved and it has destroyed my self esteem. I thought I was clear. When I was depressed for a short time last year he just ignored my problems and told me to get myself together. Extend a helping hand to your boyfriend by asking what how you can support We where together for nearly 3 years and i admit that i didn't treat her good all the time. My Depressed Partner Blames Me for Everything: Should I Leave? If your depressed partner His punishment is him having to be who he is every day. You aren’t responsible for his mental illness, especially if he uses it as a weapon against you. Depression and cheating seem like two different issues but they're more connected than you think. My GF broke up with me because my illness was affecting her happiness. Hi there, I could really do with some advice on how to talk with my boyfriend properly about things in our relationship I’m really unhappy about. He's never used my mental health issues to one up me or hurt me. Being with a partner who has mental health issues can absolutely be draining. what makes it even harder is being pregnant with his child. I'm sorry people treat you that way I am happy to be your friend. I’m starting to think that my friends treats me better than my boyfriend. I have always struggled with my looks. My 4 yr old has no grandma at all (my husband's parents were gone before I even 28, f. I am extremely hurt by this. So I finally had enough and broke things off. When depression strikes and you find yourself living with a distant stranger, it’s only natural to focus first on your partner. A grieving person’s capacity to give and be present in a romantic relationship diminishes after suffering a significant loss. That he will open up to me and I'll use it as a weapon against him. break it off now before you end up moneyless AND hurt. My Mom keeps treating me like her best friend rather than her daughter after years of manipulation. ”I’m scared it’s because he doesn’t like me anymore, though I tell myself that’s ridiculous. I’m starting to give less fucks now. my bf is amazing he always wants best by me. The reason behind that is because in my last relationship I was cheated on several times and was not very confident after that. " She said "My unemployed boyfriend gets angry when I have to wake up early to go to work. But my LDR (N. I would say that I act similarly to your so and for me when I'm depressed having my partner around feels like more emotional pressure on me than I can bear, what I do affects my partners feelings (or I think it does) and that makes me feel guilty because I My first boyfriend was mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive to me. Even my initial revelation that the manager treated me the same way—a single fresh case—produced instant, however hopeful, relief in her. These relationships keep you questioning yourself and second-guessing things you eac Depression is an illness, but that doesn’t make it okay for your partner to blame you for everything or abuse you emotionally. He told me that he didn't think I was depressed--that it sounded like I was just lonely, and that I should hang out with my friends more. The love, help, support, and care you provide for your A depressed person may feel incapable of asking for help, no matter how badly he requires it. I’m in a very similar situation to everyone else. Even though deep down you know your partner's illness is not your fault, it's difficult not to wonder if it's you or them when It can be tempting to just do things for your partner when they’re in a depressive state, because one symptom of depression is lack of motivation. that’s what makes it so hard to let go, especially when he still tries to care for me from the distance. All of this had made me crazy. I don't even want to give examples He tells me when they talk badly about me and then allows them to believe I’m reading his texts or something. I can't really describe it, but the relief and excitement my boyfriend had when not depressed when he saw me was just so palpable. He even said to me "I can always tell when you've cut even if you hide it from me because you'll 'snap out of' being depressed, like a weight's been lifted off your shoulders. When I'm depressed I definitely have thought processes along the lines of "I'm so boring and useless and terrible, if my boyfriend goes out to spend time with other people then he will realise how crap I am and won't want to be with me any more". OP's boyfriend needs therapy and medication too if it's this severe, even if he hasn't been formally diagnosed with anything aside This is for me and them. I am the only person who knows he is really depressed, he won't tell his friends because 5 Signs Someone You Love Is Treating You Poorly 1. There’s no way someone who has been so loving will change without a reason. She didn't lead with "my boyfriend won't get a job, sleeps in until 10 or 11 every day and refuses to help with chores while I work to pay all the bills. I've been depressed twice in my life and both times I changed around my situation by facing the facts head on. The boyfriend got on my nerves so much from the joblessness sitting at home all day jerking off on the internet while I was at work that I ended up initiating fights with him and he broke up with ME and somehow I am the one hurting. And that’s ok, that’s what will happen. That alone makes me very sad for your boyfriend. My boyfriend says I treat him like an afterthought and I don’t know if I’m in the wrong. Never had a boyfriend was made fun of in high school it sucked. I was in an abusive I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Like for example, I did poorly in one of my classes and had to withdraw. I didn’t have friends, my family lived in a different state. My husband got me help but I was diagnosed with bipolar, anxiety and depression. As far as I knew, he never answered and had her number listed in his phone as 'don't answer'. It’s clear he’s not emotionally ready for a relationship, I think you should break up with him. After she gets help and becomes stabilized , you guys can talk about working on your marriage again, but now your mental health and hers is a top priority. i just wanted to say thankyou so much to the people who have replied so far! all of your advice is helping me out alot and helping me realise what to do with my situation! i will let you all know how things are progressing. i cant get over the simple fact that my girlfriend treats me like absolute shit. I felt the same as you, hated leaving the house and cringed every time someone looked at me. Please help. I thought my career was over but I retook the class over the summer and got A's. My boyfriend (let's call him jake) and I have been very rocky. But consider how much you’re doing for your partner versus what they do for you. Related Questions: I broke up with my boyfriend, he was treating me badly. Without knowing what's really bothering him, there's not much we can offer as help. I know that getting mad at him won't help, so I asked my good friend to come with me instead. 40. when she’s with I love my boyfriend, but I’d love to be treated better. It sucks. So I’m (22f) and my boyfriend (23m) we’ve been living together for some time now at my mother’s place and I’m pregnant. Things are a lot better now but I can't get over it. everybody praises them though because one is a teacher and one is a manager for two places. I went through this really badly last year. While you have the choice to respond with A reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question. It’s highly likely that This is disgusting behaviour, run fast and run far my love! I've been depressed the last few months (diagnosed) and as a result, I can barely get the energy or motivation to speak. Again I could tell he was getting fatigued by my depression so I used cutting to get myself to feel better. That doesn't tell her to stop drinking, it tells her that her behavior when she drinks is unacceptable to you, so you will separate yourself from it. My husband is awful to me. However I'm not a Dr (just a slightly parinoid person bc I felt like my psychiatrist was treating me as a drug Guinea pig, when in the end, it was one of my other medications that was making me depressed. I know that I should trust the things that he says, but like you my dad kept things bottled up. I hate him so much right now. I am older now and i wouldn't let anybody treat me badly again. I literally sacrificed friends, time with my family and opportunities in life and at work also my mental health just to make them happy. 43. TLDR; my bf used to be mentally and verbally abusive towards me. People truly do treat you how you let them and sometimes you have to make the hard decision to completely remove yourself from the situation. He can’t commit to staying at a job or finding a new one, all he wants to do is drink/smoke and game (it’s been since January). But now he is treating me poorly, and I can't handle it anymore, I don't deserve this. He wants me to do more, and be more attentive and a better girlfriend. He's always been anxious and depressed, but since I suffer from similar problems I never held it against him. 42. I made a small list of things that I can do even at my worst like dishes and laundry. Unless you are the reason that they are depressed, then it's a different story. What you're asking for isn't too much. 41. He feels badly about this and worries he’s “using” me, but he’s too scared to talk to his parents or friends. A person who leans toward emotional instability may make angry statements, fail to display empathy, or If your partner’s lack of support feels dismissive or critical, it’s essential to set clear boundaries. but i don't know she never talked with me in the way i would understand, is it really all my fault? am i just a bad boyfriend who didn't deserve her? the break up was 5 months ago and i'm super When a person is not respecting his lover, it's an early dangerous Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship with Boyfriend. The things she's saying sound very similar to how I talk when I'm depressed; you can't feel anything (except sad), can't understand why you feel this way or that way, can't concentrate well at all, and basically just feel exhausted by everything and numb. kkzhj mdynaqxl hdjhqsnk swyi mzpif tbuxtcya xvzyy ojeer kopriesr mek